Thursday, June 25, 2015

Strong...'s a funny word.

Strong, how?

Yep, I can carry 4-5 grocery bags on each arm from the car into the house.

Yep, I can breathe through a stumped toe, or a slip of the kitchen knife into my finger, or even a cross word from someone I love.

But does that make me strong?

Getting past the diagnosis of cancer in my child the first time, until life seemed almost normal....Yeah, I've done that too.

Being hit with a diagnosis of relapse?

Well, I've taken that one in the gut as well, but this is where I crumble.

This is where I have hurt beyond all imaginable hurt.

This is where I've spent days in a fog of doing what is expected, and faking a smile.

This is where I know I can't do it alone. And I remember that I didn't do it alone the first time either. It's funny how the mind it will allow you to forget pain, until something prompts a colored picture in your mind of a certain horrible day, and the twinge of pain that comes with it...then you realize...I made it through all of that.

...We made it through.

I do know that it's not just me, but a greater power within. I will lift up my eyes to the hills, from where comes my help. Psalm 121:1.

Michelle I hope you know how strong I personally think you are. I don't know you, never met you but your positive attitude is inspiring!!

Cure For BJ Round 2  Thanks Denise smile emoticonThe only reason I'm still standing and doing this life is because of the strength God gives me. (BJ will tell you that's why he's so strong, too.) I don't always feel strong, and I have crumbled under this weight quite often, but that happens when I take the worry and the fear back. It's a constant struggle - It hurts your heart to see your child suffering, and to not know how this will all turn out...sometimes it's just too much. When I start feeling like that I just have a frank conversation with Jesus. I know he's always there and he's got this. He's got BJ, and as unfathomable as it is....he loves him more than I do.

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