Thursday (Day 21 from CART cell infusion) ....
Thanksgiving came and went, and I hope it's another day that BJ won't remember after all this is over. He still isn't aware of very much, just like every day of the past week. He was still suffering from withdrawal symptoms (fast breathing, fast heart rate, widening pupils, irritability, anxiety, stomach cramps, diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, yawning, sweating), and toward the evening, it worsened. He became very agitated. They had just started a blood transfusion around 3pm, when he pulled hard on the IV line that was accessing his port. When he pulled, the .75" needle came out of his port, so the blood transfusion had to be stopped, and his port area had to be cleaned and immediately reaccessed so it wouldn't clot. If his port were to clot, he would have to have surgery to replace the port again.
Thanksgiving night, he became delirious, and panicked. His doctor said the delirium was caused by a combination of very high (106) fevers for the past 2 weeks, not sleeping, and all the medications to control pain and nausea. He keeps getting platelet transfusions multiple times each day. Today, his white blood cell count is 0.2. It's still amazing to see it this low.
I turned on the Panthers/Cowboys game, but he was not in a mental state to really watch and participate like he usually does. Even opening a package sent by Damione and Silvana Lewis, and showing him the signed Thomas Davis jersey didn't get through to him. He has received other mail and packages that he hasn't opened yet, because he's just not able.
It's hard to go so many days without having conversations with BJ, laughing with him, and seeing that sparkle in his eyes. He still doesn't know that his CART cells have kicked major leukemia ass....and I can't wait to tell him, and watch his face as the realization sets in.
Thankfulness...I'm thankful for BJ and Carly, my husband Darrell, my inner core of friends that are my family, my incredible Medic family, medical staff that care for my son, and countless friends, family and strangers who are lifting BJ up, and who also lift me up as we take these steps through very scary and uncertain places. Most of all, I'm thankful to God, who sent his own son, who innocently suffered and died, so that we could be with him one day.
And I thank him...every day...for another day with BJ.