Tuesday, February 28, 2017

So tired

Ever have those dreams that rip you from sleep when you hear a call out "Mom!"? 

.... Not knowing if it was real or if your mind was playing cruel tricks again in the middle of the night. 

I'm just so. Tired.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Brothers Suck it up Double

Brothers together forever, across time and space. Have always been side by side, and always will.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017


Carly recalled a memory this morning while we were in the kitchen talking and making breakfast and her lunch. She blurted out... Oh my gosh. I thought something was wrong, but she said "I just remembered something that BJ did that made me soooooo mad!"

She said one afternoon while I was at work, BJ called out to her and asked if she wanted some brownies. She came running into the kitchen and there he was, with E's cut out of brown paper. She said she started slapping at him. He was laughing so hard at her. He had also set up his phone to capture her reaction....   I'd love to find that video.

She recalled him possibly being in 7th grade at the time.

Protective big brother

6 years ago... I remember this like it was yesterday. Vivid memory of hearing that scream and seeing BJ carrying his sister into the house. She was 6, he was almost 10 years old. He was the perfect big brother....he loved her so much. She adored him, craved his approval, and still does.

Monday, February 20, 2017

A year at home

A year ago today we left our "home away from home" (Levine Children's Hospital), and were transported home. We were blessed with another 15 days together.

We're still fighting, BJ....we will never stop.

 I miss you so much. 

A year ago:
Saturday, February 20, 2016
After 90 consecutive days in the hospital, we will be going home today with the support of Kids Path. That is the kid's version of hospice. I hate that word and what it means to me as a mom of the most amazing son, and to Carly, who adores her big brother....and mostly because BJ just wanted things to be different. He can't remember what it was like to be "normal". Truth is, he has never been normal. He has always been a super amazing kid, and throughout this fight, he has risen above the darkness and shown everyone the light of God through his steadfast faith.
The bone marrow aspiration and biopsy showed that his marrow is full of leukemia cells and his doctor said that he considered BJ's leukemia "incurable". When he said that, my mind went back to September 13, 2012 when BJ was first diagnosed with leukemia and the doctor said "Listen to me.... This is curable, curable, curable!!". Just proves that doctors don't have the final say. God does, and this isn't over yet.
We know that God is still in control and we are still standing in faith for a miracle of healing to take place. But we are disappointed. We are angry. With that anger and disappointment comes an uprising of new fight. Cancer messed with the wrong family. No matter what happens, this evil won't win. It never even had a chance to win.
Y'all just keep praying....stand in the gap for us....keep the faith. We are blessed with your prayers. 

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Feel the day - March Forth

Posted by WBTV's Molly Grantham...
You’re invited to Lincoln County’s largest birthday party. It’s for BJ Correll, who would turn sixteen on March 4th. As in, March Fourth.
Or, if you’re his mom and sister still trying to carry out his mission, March Forth.
Get it?
The “March Forth 5k and 15k” is in memory of BJ, one of our longtime #MollysKids who died from cancer one year ago. His mom, Michelle Love, and amazing little sister Carly, are doing everything they can to #KeepPounding, just like BJ taught.
BJ lived that phrase. He even got to beat the Carolina Panthers drum after the 2015 “Keep Pounding” 5k. (Awesome pictures below in comments.) It was two weeks after that race when BJ found out his leukemia was back with a vengeance.
This is the first major event his mom and sister are tackling in his honor. All money raised on March 4th will go to "The Stand Firm Warrior Foundation", a 501©3 Michelle and Carly founded six months after BJ died. They use BJ’s old facebook page -- The Stand Firm Warrior Foundation – as its landing site.
Their primary mission is different than most pediatric cancer groups:
“We’re trying to help fund pediatric cancer research that focuses on ALTERNATIVE treatments to chemo and radiation,” Michelle says. “I want other families to have options and information I didn’t know existed.”
The race starts at 7:30am on March 4th… start and finish line at the Food Lion parking lot at 2100 N. Highway 16 in Denver. Shuttles will be available.
Go here to sign up or for info >> http://tinyurl.com/RegisterForBJ
“BJ never wanted a store-bought birthday cake,” Michelle said. “He always wanted me to make his favorite… Dirt Pie. Memories like that are hard.”
This year memories on BJ’s birthday will be with the whole community fighting for her warrior. It’ll be the first time Denver has hosted a 15k.
Just last month I got to hang out with Carly and Michelle. We danced through Dream On 3's gala… Carly and I bonded big time. I’ll put a photo of us below too.
“We’re working to make something good comes out of this,” Michelle said. “Please let everyone know to go to that link for information. We want it to be a HUGE party!”
Spread the word, Lincoln County.
Even if you don’t want to RUN, Michelle and Carly invite you attend and feel the day.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Even small changes are hard

Over a week ago, I reluctantly requested a page name change...from "Cure For BJ Round 2" to "The Stand Firm Warrior Foundation". Almost immediately, FB denied the request. I appealed as soon as it bounced back, but thought well, I wasn't totally ready for that anyway. It probably sounds silly, but it isn't easy to change things like this after such a great loss, and it's even harder when milestones are approaching.

Then today, the 15th of Feb, the page name was suddenly changed, and we all got the notification. There's just something special about the number 15, and it's recurring appearance. I'd love to get this page out there, and reach 15,000 likes. If you would, please like and share this page with your friends so we can reach more people through The Stand Firm Warrior Foundation.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Love fiercely

It was a year ago when Carly, 11 at the time, was wondering out loud what our future looked like. Four days later we were told for the third time in just as many months, that there was nothing left to do to help BJ. We were sent home after 90 straight days in the hospital. Disappointed but still hopeful, we loved each other just as fiercely as we always had, and lived each day like it could be the last one. We still talked about everything and joked and laughed and prayed together and still had pancakes on his last two Saturday mornings. Doctors expected that BJ would die soon. We kept our faith in God's plan, a much bigger plan than our own, and we still have faith in his plan even today. Good things will come together from the outcome we didn't want. I've already witnessed that, even through the pounding ache of my grief for my son.

We were at home together for 15 days before BJ died, two days after his 15th birthday.

No one knows what their future picture looks like. Love, and love fiercely while you still can. To be able to truly love fiercely, get to know the One who fiercely died, because of his fierce love for you.